How To Tie A Tie

What makes a person look more professional than a properly tied necktie? Not much, but we’re pretty sure accidentally choking yourself with that tie and subsequently puking your breakfast on the conference table is probably pretty low on the list.

It’s actually a lot easier to do this without suffering from strangulation or throat damage. So please, take a few minutes to make sure you follow the instructions of this guide. With its help, you’ll end up a happy employee who keeps your job.

Choosing The Best Knot Type

There are several different ways to tie a tie, but we’re going to go with the Windsor knot. Why? Well, it’s probably the quickest way to tighten the knot around your neck and, as far as we know, it’s never been used in a hangman’s noose. In fact, we’d suggest avoiding the hangman’s knot entirely!

Follow these simple steps to get your tie sorted out and to keep breathing naturally:

  • Wrap the tie through the loop of your collar. Or feel free to put it directly on the skin of your neck if you like that better. Whatever.
  • Position the wide end to the right and the smaller end to the left, adjusting the small end so that its tip is just above your belly button. Tie it to your belt buckle to help keep it in place.
  • Carefully move the wider end to the left over the small end and pull it up into the neck loop underneath. There are some rhymes about rabbits going around trees, but ignore those. Rabbits are stupid.
  • Pull the wide end down to the left and then around the back of the right of the small end – this will start making the knot, so don’t pull it too tight. Unless you secretly want to puke on the conference table because you want to get fired. Up to you!
  • Take the wide end up to the center, toward the neck loop, pulling it through, and back down to the right. Take a deep breath because you’re going to be tightening it soon!
  • Bring the wide end back across the front to the left, up through the neck loop again from underneath and back down through the loop you just made in the front.
  • Drag the wide end down (it should be in front of the small end) to tighten the knot. Oh, we forgot to mention, you should have untied the wide end from your belt about halfway through. If you didn’t, we make no guarantees.

Other Tips

After you’ve finished, try eating a light breakfast instead of stuffing yourself with too much food. That would be needlessly silly.

More Complex Information

Following these instructions will create a simple necktie knot that will make you look great and let you breathe without any trouble. However, if you’re still having trouble holding in your vomit, please talk to a gastroenterologist today. They can give you the help you need to tie your tie without risking termination at work.

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