What Topping Should Never Go On Your Morning Toast?

Maybe you like to keep it conventional with just butter, cinnamon and sugar, or maybe you mix it up with some jam or other spread. But there’s always a line somewhere…

What Topping Should Never Go On Your Morning Toast?


5 Excuses For Overspending

Sometimes, it feels good to let loose and spend more than you should, so if you need an excuse, we’ve got you covered. Below you’ll find some good reasons to spend your money well past your budget. You only live once, right?

1. Common Cold

If you’re feeling low and you suspect you may have contracted a common cold, then it’s time to go shopping. You deserve it, right? There is no faster way to turn that sorta-itchy throat upside-down. You’ll grab some designer clothes, some gourmet desserts and a new ATV. There’s no point overspending when you’re feeling good, because that’s overindulgent.

2. Wooing

If there is a special someone you’ve been sweet on, but they haven’t swayed in your direction, then it’s time to overspend. Love isn’t only about money, gifts and extravagant trips to Bora Bora, but it’s about 80 percent those things. It definitely doesn’t hurt to show your affections with material things. Wooing that special someone can bring happiness to your life, even if it means long-term credit card debt.

3. Showing Off

Like it or not, what other people think about you does matter when it comes to getting a job, finding a significant other or winning over friends. While it may seem vain, showing off a little can win you esteem in the eyes of others, regardless of whether it should or not. You don’t have to make it rain in the club by throwing money in the air. But if you don’t, everyone will know you don’t have enough money to do it. So you should. Go on. Make it rain!

If you really don’t have the money for that, just pick up the tab for dinner.

4. Got To Represent

You may not be a gangster rapper, but “representing” can be a good excuse to let the bucks fly. You have a reputation to maintain, right? So, if others are watching, and they have a certain perception of you and your socio-economic status, it’s time to represent and spend that money. Purchasing and then taking care of a personal entourage is also part of this phenomenon.

5. World’s Ending

At some point in the future, the Earth will cease to exist, so why wait for it to happen? Spend your money now. While credible scientists will argue the end of the world is many centuries in the future, you never know. Where are all the dinosaurs? It’s the right moment in history to overspend.

Nobody lives forever, so overspending every once in a while can be justified. You don’t get to take your bank account or credit cards with you when you pass away. So show off a little. Represent.

A Man’s Car Breaks Down In Front Of A Monastery…

Funny Joke Of The Day

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks accept him, feed him and even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”

The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”

The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232,049 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,702,382 sand pebbles on the Earth.”

The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.”

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?”

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man demands the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.

He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.

Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.

So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.”

The man is relieved to no end.

He unlocks the door and turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.

But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.


Tell us what you thought of this funny joke in the comments below, and come back every day for the Funny Joke Of The Day!

(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

Funny Words That Start With E

These E words might get you wigged out, but don’t worry. An eft is on the way at the end.

1. Earwig

If this sounds scary and disgusting, that’s because it is. At first, you might think an earwig insect is named for some random reason. I hate to break it to you, but the name is because this insect actually crawls inside your ear while you sleep and wigs you out. So go on out an buy some cotton balls to stuff your ears with tonight, because you’ll never get a good night’s sleep again if you don’t.

2. Eek!

This is what you’ll be shrieking when you realize an earwig has just entered your ear. Seriously, did you buy those cotton balls yet?

3. Emoji

An emoji is a face icon that is used to express emotion when you’re communicating by text or email. It came about because people were getting so pissed off with each other over what they thought were snide comments, because you can’t read faces over the internet. Like when a person typed “so what?” it could set off a family feud, when really the person just wanted to know what happened next.

4. Eerie

Not to be confused with earie, which might be something to do with those nasty earwigs. Eerie has to do with coincidence or a strange feeling. If you get an eerie feeling, grab your flashlight, Nancy Drew, because something strange is about to happen.

5. Evitable

This is actually in the dictionary. It means avoidable. But everyone always uses inevitable, as in unavoidable. No one ever says, “Getting an earwig lodged in your ear was evitable, if only you’d bought those cotton balls like I suggested.”

6. Envy

Envy is the same as jealousy, but somehow the connotation is a whole lot darker. Envy feels like it can be coupled with some sort of malicious acts of revenge, whereas jealousy comes with relatively harmless comments or judgmental looks. If someone admits to being envious of you, watch your back. If they say they’re jealous, just take them out to lunch and it’s all good.

7. Eft

An eft is a certain kind of lizard. They eat earwigs, so if you are in the market for a new pet and you still haven’t bought those cotton balls, consider picking up an eft for yourself. They make great housepets and as I say, they can help keep your wigs about you.