Three Bulls Heard The Rancher Was Bringing Another Bull Onto The Ranch…

Funny Joke Of The Day

Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.

First Bull: “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows.”

Second Bull: “I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all my cows.”

Third Bull: “I’ve only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I’m keeping all 10 of my cows.”

Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they’ve ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.

First Bull: “I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend.”

Second Bull: “I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”

They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.

First Bull: “Son, don’t be foolish. Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”

Third Bull: “Hell, he can have all my cows. I’m just making sure he knows I’m a bull.”

 

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(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

A Blonde And A Redhead Have A Cattle Ranch In Texas…

Funny Joke Of The Day

A blonde and a redhead have a cattle ranch in Texas. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another for their cattle ranch, but they only have $500.

The redhead tells the blonde, “I will go to the market and see if I can find a good bull for under that amount. If I find one, I will send you a telegram to tell you to bring the truck and trailer.”

The redhead goes to the cattle market and finds one for $499. Since she has only $1 left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs $1 per word to send a telegram. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer.

Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.”

Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?”

The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.’ ”

 

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(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

A Texas Rancher Was Visiting A Farmer In Israel…

Funny Joke Of The Day

A Texas rancher was visiting a farmer in Israel. The proud Israeli showed him around. “Here is where I grow tomatoes, cucumbers and squash. Over there, I built a play set for my kids, next to the doghouse,” the farmer said.

The land was tiny, and the Texas rancher was surprised by how small it was. “Is this all your land?” he asked.

“Yes,” the Israeli said proudly. “This is all mine!”

“You mean this is it? This is all of it?” the Texas rancher said incredulously.

“Yes, yes, this is really all mine!”

“Well, son,” said the Texas rancher, “back home, I’d get in my car before the sun’d come up and I’d drive and drive and drive, and when the sun set, why, I’d only be halfway across my land!”

“Oh, yes,” replied the Israeli farmer wistfully, “I used to have a car like that.”

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(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

A Farmer Had Three Daughters Who Were All Going On Dates…

Funny Joke Of The Day

A farmer had three teenage daughters who were all going on dates the same night. The doorbell rang and the farmer answered it. The boy said, “Hello. I’m Joe, and I’m here for Flo. We are going to see a show. Is she ready to go?” So Flo left with Joe.

The doorbell rang again and the farmer answered it. The boy said, “Hello. I’m Eddy, and I’m here for Betty. We are going to eat spaghetti. Is she ready?” So Betty left with Eddy.

Only the farmer’s youngest daughter was left. The doorbell rang a third time and the farmer answered it again. The boy said, “Hello. I’m Chuck.” The farmer chased him off before he could finish.

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(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)

Surveyors Came To Ole’s Farm In The Fall To Make A Property Line Map…

Funny Joke Of The Day

Government surveyors came to Ole’s farm in the fall and asked if they could do some surveying. Ole agreed and Lena even served them a nice meal at noon. The next spring, the two surveyors stopped by and told Ole, “Because you were so kind to us, we wanted to give you this bad news in person instead of by letter.”

Ole asked, “What is the bad news?”

The surveyors said, “Well, after our work we discovered your farm is not in Minnesota but is actually in North Dakota!”

Ole looked at Lena and said, “That’s the best news I have heard in a long time! Why I just told Lena this morning, I don’t think I can take another winter in Minnesota.”

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(Here’s where we found this funny joke.)